I am a ‘NEW’ Mom – promises to my new Daughter in law

My Midlife Oasis (I have no patience for a crisis) is always in a constant state of flux. Whoever said life would calm down and be simpler once the nest was empty was totally lying. TOTALLY LYING.

One of the latest ‘big things’ to happen in our lives was not just big…it was huge! We recently became In Laws!

Our oldest son married the love of his life a few weeks ago. Our family grew and we could not be happier.  Seeing the love and respect these two amazing young people have for each other is incredibly heartwarming.

With this new role as a Mother in Law I felt the need to ponder what that might mean. The term Mother in Law (especially MIL of a new daughter in law) tends to conjure up thoughts of an evil, mean, heartless woman who is bent on asserting her authority and making the new bride miserable.

I think that is crazy.

My own mother in law always treated me with love, kindness and respect. She treated me as if I were her own daughter.

So today, as I think about this new role I have just stepped into, I want to say a few things to my new daughter in law and to my son… to make a few promises that I will try to always keep. I love you both and want the very best for you!

My Promises

1)  I promise to always be respectful of your marriage.  It is a big change to go from Queen Bee in your little boy’s life to second fiddle. However it is a GOOD and proper change.


There it is, right there in the bible…and for good cause. A healthy, long lasting, happy marriage relies on this truth. I have seen the love and care and respect you show my son each and every day. I am so very happy to know he has you by his side and that you have his back. You both complement each other so well. It certainly eases this Mama’s heart and mind. I promise to always respect that.

2)  I will always be there for both of you, you are both my children.  I learned this well from my own Mother in law and plan on using her good example as a guideline. If either of you need me I will do all that is in my power to be there for you.

3)  It is your house, your family.  I promise to always call first. I promise to ask first. I promise to always treat you as Lady of the house. I will try my hardest to never ‘take over’ and if you feel I am, please tell me.

4)  If you want my opinion or my advice, you just need to ask for it.  I will be glad to share my thoughts, experiences and ideas with you on any and all topics. However I will not force them on you, I will wait until you ask. Never be afraid to ask, I will always answer!

5) Please know that if I ever do anything to hurt or upset either of you, I can guarantee it was unintentional. Tell me…I may not realize or may not have meant it the way you heard it. I would much prefer you tell me right away, rather than let bad feelings or misunderstandings fester.

6) I love you. Always. No matter what.

I am sure there are many things that I will learn and discover about being a new Mother in law. I hope my growing pains and my learning curve are not too painful for us all.  You two get to ‘break us in’ on the whole In Law thing. So that means you will probably live through a few more growing pains than the rest!  For that I apologize ahead of time.

Now that our daughter has just recently gotten engaged as well (Did I mention life has been HUGE around our house)…I will have to learn how to be Mother in Law to the new Groom soon enough!








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